I left the shelter at about 7am feeling sleepy but accomplished. For 12 hours, I had helped provide services to the homeless in a drug infested area called Lawndale. I gave a coworker a ride to the train..... On the way, I noticed a neat little line of 15-20 people waiting beside an abandoned building.... they were waiting for the "pass-out" by the local drug dealer. A "pass-out" is when the drug dealers hand out free drugs (usually heroin) to the neighborhood addicts in hopes of promoting their location as a good heroin spot. Heroin addicts are loyal customers because they need the drug daily so that they don't get what's called "dope sick". Dealers think of this as an investment in their future earnings. As I drove past the line, I realized that most of those waiting in line were shelter guest from the night before. My heart sank.

One of my older posts. "ashamed that i complained"

Before I left the shelter this morning, I had to called paramedics for a sick shelter guest. I didn't immediately recognize him even though he had been coming to the shelter for many years. He was much thinner than usual; Painfully so. His complexion seemed muddy. His voice just above a whisper. His eyes were distant and sunken. He seemed but a shadow of himself. I remember Just about a year ago he was full of life... but not this morning. His breathing labored on as he complained of dizziness. The paramedics arrived and easily lifted his skeletal-like frame onto the stretcher. They whisked him away to a waiting ambulance. Years of intravenous drug abuse and high risk behavior to blame. I usually leave the shelter with a feeling of accomplishment on Thursday mornings but not today. Today i feel sad and grateful. Sad that a fellow human being is suffering but grateful that i was able to serve him hot meals and offer a safe place to lodge. That's as deep as i care to think about it on this beautiful summer morning. Time to correct myself. I will be grateful for my life and will not complain. I will be grateful for my health and will not complain. As i drive along sipping my Carmel macchiato, on the phone complaining about WHATEVER...... I will be mindful that there are people out there with REAL problems!

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